Pretty much goes like this every time I do it:
> promise mother I’ll drive safe
> speed some because the highway is empty as hell, while watching like a hawk for cops
> slow down because of a deer deciding it’s cool to chill in the middle of the road
> for the rest of the drive, proceed to think every sign, small tree, large shrubbery, shadow, animal, and bug is another deer attempting to leap onto the highway and get me killed and twitch or flinch accordingly
> smell dead skunk, mmm, northern midwest
> spot cop and very blatantly slam on the breaks cause I was totally not speeding, officer, you just ~imagined~ it, I promise
> if I’m lucky, get away with said foolery and continue on my way
> if I’m unlucky, get pulled over and try not to hyperventilate while playing completely dumb about my speed
> if I’m lucky, get off with a verbal warning before I continue on my way
> if I’m unlucky, cop looks at McD’s I was eating and gives me a ticket before I continue on my way, more paranoid than ever
> thank the powers that be that if 50% of the radio stations are going to be country, at least the other 50 are classic rock
> pray to same powers that be that these slow-asses will TURN ALREADY because I have too much anxiety to pass on a two lane highway
> get distracted by jamming out to classic rock and have to slam on breaks for another deer
> breathe
> reach destination between 10pm and 1am
> pray that the bears aren’t around
> run inside while jingling keys before the bears eat me anyway
> sprint to the bathroom because I drank two large diet cokes on the way there
Always an adventure, Northern Wisconsin.
